Quinns: Goooood mooorning board gamers! How was your weekend? We did some filming, during which an exasperated Paul told his team-mate "It's only a game." It's ONLY A GAME! As if. What a scandal.

News, though! Up above you'll see Heroes of Normandie an absolutely gorgeous-looking tactics game that's got just 5 days left on the Kickstarter, with 270% of its desired funding. Want to drive a cardboard tank through a bush? This could be your boy. And there's more of a grounding that'll it'll be a good game than most Kickstartlets, since it's based on the company's 2007 release of Frontiers, which The Dice Tower called pretty fun.

But that's not the most exciting news this week. Oh, no. A new expansion for Battlestar Galactica's been announced, AND a new game in the world of The Resistance. Oh, baby!

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Splash! Splutter. Cough. You've just washed up on the shores of the best game we've looked at in ages.

Friends, newcomers, children of all ages, please enjoy this review of the ethically dubious Archipelago. It's early days, this might end up being our game of 2013. Who knows? If Archipelago teaches us anything, it's to plan for the future. The future, and also for what you're going to do with all those sodding pineapples.

Enjoy, guys.

[A feature we've always dreamed of providing is actual board game journalism. What might that look like?

Step forward Mark Wallace, board gamer, author and contributor to Wired and the New York Times. We let him off his news-leash to cover the economics of licensed board games. Are they good for the hobby, or crowding out our shelves?

These are his conclusions. If you like this sort of thing, please do drop a comment letting us know.]

Tabletop gaming may be touching new heights of innovation and engagement, but the industry is at pains to appeal to new customers. While bigger “independent” publishers like Fantasy Flight Games can make a strong showing of it, there are dozens more smaller publishers whose owner-managers must hold down day jobs while struggling to produce great games -- games that are often ignored by retail outlets. In many stores, it can almost seem that tabletop board games are solely represented by TV and movie spinoffs.

Even if they’re lucky enough to find a well-stocked local game store, the potential audience for boardgames is at pains to tell one startlingly expensive game from another. And having been weaned on Candyland, Sorry, and the Game of Life, they are startled again at the different kind of effort that’s required to learn and play -- much less enjoy -- many contemporary games.

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Quinns: The other week I was in a board game shop, doing my thing, when the girl I was with asked where the games were that weren't oppressively nerdy.

Her and I aren't talking anymore, obviously, which is annoying because this week's news features NOTHING but games with approachable themes. Not so much as ONE grimy alien or breastplate in sight.

Impossible, you say? Hard to believe? See for yourself.

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Quinns: Hi Tom! I understand you’ve had no electricity. That’s a fitting start for SU&SD’s iOS correspondent. Who's the man you turn to when the lights are out? It's TOM O'BEDLAM.

Tom: You’d think, but the batteries went out on my iPad five minutes into the powercut. Without electricity, the iPad is a very ugly mousepad.

Quinns: Awful. So, what have you been playing this week? Was it terrible? iOS ports of board games are terrible, right?

Tom: They’re not that terrible! Most are distinctly unterrible! Not all of them are Dominant Species! I’ve been playing the new iPad release of Stone Age, which has been ported by Campfire Creations. It’s gorgeous. One of the nicest looking ports I’ve seen so far.

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The fifth Shut Up & Sit Down podcast is here! Quinns and Paul have fumbled an entire hour out of their busy schedules to chat about Relic, Netrunner, Love Letter and so much more. Click here to be magically transported to our podcast section!

Oh, and don't worry about whether to comment here or over there. Both pages will now share the same comments in one great big commenting hug! We're amazing like that.

We also have something very serious to ask. Do you play a musical instrument? There's something you might be able to help us with, and just this once, we're not joking. Details after the jump.

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Paul: Now Quinns, I know you’re still obsessed with Mage Wars-

Quinns: WIZARD! Oh my God did you read the part where your spells-

Paul: But if you don’t mind, I want to INTERJECT with an alternative game people could buy this week. Something sleeker and easier, that I think anyone can play, not just the people who wanted to be manticores when they grew up.

Quinns: I don’t understand. Are you still coming over tonight? I wove you a beard to wear out of my armp-

Paul: I’m SAYING I’m coming over, but I’m bringing Libertalia instead. I want to recommend this one to everyone. I think it’s really quite special.

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Look out! Behind you! A FIRE!

Only joking. The only fire we have for you is in our hearts.

In this inaugral episode of The Opener, Matt looks at opening your game night with a fiery game of Flash Point: Fire Rescue and a cocktail that's literally on fire. Because you can never have too much fire, and that's a fact.

EDIT: OK so we just got a call from Paul screaming that he tried to make the cocktail and now has "Too much fire," so we may have to redact that. Paul?

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