the buttermilk cardthe chokeslam tilethe burger token
[Begin SU&SD black box transcript for “Games News Dialogue: 11th May 2015.” Recovered by crews at 9:17am.]
[Recording begins, some sound of birdsong and footsteps.]
Quinns: PAUL. PAUL. WAKE UP.
Paul: OH GOD WHAT IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE.
Quinns: Paul I know what-
Paul: DON’T COME IN HERE. Just tell me from behind the door.
Quinns: Paul, I know what you like most of all!
Paul: And what is that?
Paul: I do not like wrestling at all. Wrestling is one of my least favourite things. When I was twelve, a bunch of people at school were so into it that they were buying wrestling action figures. I was asking “Have you really regressed this much? We’re twelve! We should be getting stylish and kissing and being in bands and-”
Quinns: WWE Superstar Showdown just got announced! It features two teams of players muscling up as up to six wrestlers who each have their own wrestling deck of wrestling moves.
Paul: Quinns, what is this? It looks horrible. It’s all bravado and bright colours. It’s like a rainbow injected testosterone and was up all night huffing protein mix. Plus, you know all wrestling is JUST A SHOW, right?
Quinns: It’s been a slow news week. But surely you can muster some excitement for the announcement of the Dexterity Game Design Contest? Yes, game design is so difficult and, yes, I’ve said before that it might help if you had experience in a particular discipline, but how about trying your hand at something that’s physical, rather than, say, just mathsy? Flicking! Poking! Jumping!
Paul: Wow, that’s a little bit different! What’s the prize? Thousands of dollars? Prestige? A giant, bronze bust?
Paul: That’s not… that’s not much.
Quinns: You also get a table at the next Unpub convention and you get, er, “considered” for publishing.
Is there someone in there with yo-
Paul: NO. Don’t come in, I’m getting dressed. Did you hear about the New Yorker interview with Klaus Teuber, which talks about his incredible success alongside the rise of board games?
Quinns: I didn’t! I haven’t heard of him, nor this game he’s made. Teuber? That sounds like some sort of insult. Teuber!
Paul: Hey you, you Teuber! YouTeuber. You YouTueber.
Quinns: Yeah. Yeah. Really slow news week. I guess you know there’s another version of Love Letter coming? This time, it’s Adventure Time Love Letter. Like the other versions, it’s… it’s slightly different. I guess. Are you giggling? Is someone giggling in there? Paul, let me… you’ve blocked the door.
Paul: JUST A MOMENT for heaven’s sake. No, I didn’t hear about that and, much as I do love Love Letter, it’s a little exhausting to see it multiply like an amorous amoeba, asexually duplicating itself until the end of time. I was more excited by Cuisine a la Card, a deckbuilding dinner game that’s just filled its pockets on Kickstarter.
Games about food aren’t always my first choice and this might also be a little too light for my personal taste, but my goodness did I like watching a Kickstarter pitch that felt a bit more professional, a bit more exciting, a bit more lively than so many of the dull one-face-to-camera monologues.
I like seeing their excitement translated into video form and it sure beats the last Kickstarter I caught, where you actually saw the guy turning on the camera, sitting back down and not even in focus as he started talking.
Quinns: Paul, shut up! We're saved! The ever-diligent W. Eric Martin, of BoardGameGeek news, has just this moment published a great convention report from the Tokyo Game Market . It’s a great travelogue talking about translation challenges, low-budget designs and people trying out some really, really off-the-wall ideas.
Paul: Ah yes! It’s a brilliant and wide-ranging convention report, though the best-looking game of all, Zittia, doesn't have any kind of description at all. what could this be?
Quinns: Have we ruled out the possibility that Mr. Martin knocked over a bin and thought it was a display?
Quinns: Ok. I think the most relevant bit of the report might be the coverage of Design Town. Following the runaway success of Japanese designs Love Letter and Machi Koro in the West, Western publishers now attend TGM looking for the next big thing (in a teeny box). Taiwanese game Design Town, soon to be published by Tasty Minstrel as 'Flip City', could well be the next big thing.
Paul: I prefer Design Town as a name.
Quinns: Flip City is an objectively better name. It's shorter, snappier, it has some assonance going on, it's more evocative. But--
Paul: But you prefer Design Town too.
Paul: Hey this report even mentions “sexy games,” whi-
Quinns: OKAY SO what exactly have you been doing in there all night?
Paul: DON’T COME IN.
Quinns: I’M GOING TO FORCE THE DOOR.
Paul: DON’T FORCE THE DOOR.
Quinns: OH MY GOD.
Paul: OH MY GOD.